darkness is my only confidant it seems ...

22:22 PM CST

Just got to this. This blog is dedicated to my need to understand that in the scheme of things, impatience is not needed in the speck of the fraction of the universe. I feel refreshed with my Mountain Dew by my side, my mind sorting out the information that has been fed to it as up to this point. I note that life is hard when you are threatened of your life by others, when they fail to realize that all living beings eventually die, due to the evolution of time. Time eventually gets to all men and women, be they deep pocketed industrialists and owners of power or be they street sweepers or street soldiers, mindlessly watching the days pass with an endless persistence and persecution ... I read an article on Beautiful People. What defines beauty? Visual context most of the time. One man's idea of beauty may be inside the Sistine Chapel, which I hope to visit someday in my life; then others think of beauty as Carmen Electra or Jessica Alba; then some see beauty as excellently developed music, like Jimi Hendrix's complex version of the Star Spangled Banner at Woodstock or Miles creating Kind Of Blue or even Erykah Badu's Mama's Gun ... I honestly don't know my definition of it yet. I have been asked " Do you love me? " I don't know the entirety of love yet. I am trying to learn and accept and set limits and to learn. I know that in order to experience and savour life, I need to set up a sense of order and neatness, to allow me to catch up on put-off, procrastinated projects and open my world.
I am listening to The World Today on NPR radio; the only radio I can even stand now. Commercial radio has turned into the prostitute found in the old Moulin Rouge days, awaiting to be cut at the jugular by independent music that is rich in flavour and style, but not yet commercial or sold out, yet willing to spread its legs for the easy pop of A&R reps who work for the Major League of radio and music, soliciting cheap pop, easy hook songs that are as disposable as the very albums/cds they are burned on, like Mephistopheles decided that the easy way to corrupt the youth would be thru this drivel. Any archtypical god help us if she has a " herpe " sore or worse ...
My job is a very interesting thing. I work in one of the worst type of jobs that a person can do : debt collection. I don't prefer it and to a point, I wish I could go back to art creation and development of imagination and creativity ... I love to design and fiddle with drawing constantly, daily ... but like everyone in the United States that fall in my caste and lower ... bills are the nature of the beast. I feel the push of the economy and the thirst of the needy to seek relief and can only watch and weep spiritually with tired, overworked, underpaid eyes. Like those hopeless souls leaning quietly under the hum of the transit bus in the city, I am crammed into a sardine can-like lifestyle that allows for only a few creature comforts sporadically strewn throughout life, that to the wealthy seem normal : food, gas and clothing, if available. We drown in a scene of helpless dispair, waiting for the crunch of the end of the day to hit us ... its those days where cigarette smoking and drinking seem like the American Dream ... to us, our lives are the American Nightmare ...

The enthusiam of the sports that have been displayed lately ... mainly the Mavs and the Heat playoffs for the Finals ... well, I think that the Mavs lost simply because they ran out of gas ... their " A game " just lost and for Cuban to blame officials is justified if the officials did make mistakes that were later admitted and were rectified, but under the way the structure of the game is made, it may all be spilled milk at this time, without the justified corrections they now express in football with instant replay relayed immediately to the officials ... but some people, who have opinions, may interpret it as " sour grapes " ... I make no translation or interpretation, I'm just responding to an overly emotional response, rather than a businesslike, thoughtful and well versed response ...

Then again, he does own the team.

Well, no offense given ...


Till next blog


Rodney King may have been the pre-millineal American Socrates after all ...


dr phibes